Those Are Balls. See, From This Close They Always Look Like Landscape.

Alternatively: "We're Not Gay! Not That There's Anything Wrong With That."

So I’ve recently been able to clear out some of my DVR. Last night I watched the two most recent episodes of FX’s “Louie,” “Miami” and “Daddy’s Girlfriend: Part 1.” Something felt off about “Miami.” It was unmistakably an episode of Louie: it showcased shots of simple, borderline mundane comedic situations—Louie falling asleep in his hotel room with a plate of food, juxtaposed against the young, healthy bodies of Miami; the terror and embarrassment of Louie being saved by a lifeguard when he wasn’t drowning—it built up a revelation Louie was to undergo (he had never seen the “real” Miami), and all of it was shadowed by the looming threat of something going terribly wrong. That last bit should be of no surprise to anyone who has seen the show. In fact, the main reason why the threat looms is because it has been established by history. A favorite blog of mine, Warming Glow, has a segment entitled “The 7 Most Soul-Crushing Moments” for each episode that airs.

As Louie befriends the young, attractive male lifeguard, Ramon, who “saves” his life, you can feel the impending doom churning. Everything is just going too well: too well for a normal person—it’s downright miraculous for Louie. Louie’s time in Miami runs out, he says goodbye to Ramon, and you think, foolishly, Louie’s done it—he’s had a human experience without the awkward and torturous side-effects that are always in tow. But your feelings of tragedy are vindicated—and your momentary lapse into hope, squashed—as Louie, in the very next scene, decides to extend his stay in Miami.

I have to say, kudos to Louis (writer, creator, and director—Louie’s real life counterpart) for the slow burn. It is exhausting—in the best way possible. As Louie approaches Ramon at work, you dread the outcome. Surely, this is where Ramon, having believed Louie to have left Miami, is going to be uncomfortable. Louie has disturbed the social balance, and he’ll be punished for it. But that isn’t what happens. Ramon is as warm in his reception of Louie as ever, even going for a swim and throwing around a football. The awkwardness will occur, as it is wont to do on “Louie,” but not until later.

That "later" is the next scene, when Louie approaches Ramon at the hotel that night and asks him if he has plans. Ramon and Louie sit down at the bar, where they proceed to have the most bizarre conversation you’ll ever watch. This is where the episode fails to come together for me. “Louie” succeeds in everything it does because it’s genuine; it’s sincere. Its banalities cease to be banal because they are real and identifiable. As Ramon hedges asking Louie if he is gay, and Louie understands, but is completely unable, himself, to say the word “gay”—or to speak in any clear terms about his intentions towards Ramon, for that matter—the reality is suspended. The difficulty of the conversation, the nervous laughter, the starts and stops and carefully chosen words: all of this works. All of this recalls with precise detail the excruciating clumsiness of new friendship, of trying to speak correctly without knowing what “correct” entails. What doesn’t work is that neither party ever brings themselves to say “gay,” and that Ramon leaves—many uncomfortable minutes later—without ever getting the answer to his unasked question. In this instance, Louis loses touch with the viewer because Louie’s commitment to avoiding any phrase, thought, or wording that can be misconstrued as bigoted borders on satire. While Louie, as a character, has shown great care in the past during similar controversial issues, it just feels like a suspension of disbelief that does not mesh with the current episode, or even the current relationship, which, in the infancy of its few day duration, underwent this exchange:

Louie: So, you, uh, you from Miami?

Ramon: Well, I was born in Cuba.

Louie: Really?

Ramon: Yeah, and then I came here when I was a baby.

Louie: That’s a big move for a little baby.

Ramon: (Laughing) I mean, my parents brought me here when I was a baby.

Louie: Like on a raft or something?